Ask Alma: My friend stopped hanging out with me. What happened?
Alma Gill | 8/5/2016, 5:06 p.m.
A couple of months ago a real friendly woman moved into the condo across the hall. She and I hit it off right away. We went shopping and to lunch together. We even went to a music concert and had a real fun time, or so I thought. All of a sudden, she just stopped calling, texting, visiting and really just being my friend. I don’t know what happen. We still speak. She’ll give me a big wave across the parking lot or when I see her in the hall, she seems generally glad to see me, but we just don’t hang out anymore. I’m not sure what happened. I really like her and I want to be her friend. What do you think I should do to get her to talk to me and hang out again?
Signed, Lost My Running Buddy
Dear Lost My Running Buddy,
Well, hmmm Sugar Plum, did you do something to piss her off or hurt her feelings? Could you possibly have said something that was a bit harsh? Maybe you gave your opinion on a particular subject that didn’t sit well with her. Or, could it be, she just don’t like you?
Have you ever started a new friendship and partway down the loop you think, “you know what, I don’t really like this person all that much?” Usually it takes a run around the romper room to learn the true personality of a person. Most folks start out sane and with good intentions, spoon feeding you what’s whole and wholesome about them. They seem to be on the up and up, until, Lord have mercy, six months later, here she comes outta nowhere, drowning in red wine, Missy Super Rachet. You’re totally blindsided like when you innocently pick up a hitchhiker who has an ax, or a hatchet, LOL, I couldn’t resist. This woman could be Lucy Looneybird relocating from Louisiana, you don’t know.
Anyhow, let it go. Evidently, ya’ll ain’t got the same flow! You can’t make somebody like you nor should you try. If she decided you were not someone she’d like to add to her friends list, so be it, trust her judgment. She knows herself better than you and she’s had time to peep your hold card. Trust me when I say you’re all the better for it. It’s best to find out up front who’s not friend material, than to waste time cooking in a frying pan of foolishness. Great friendships that are worthwhile grow like a beautiful wisteria vine, you couldn’t stop it if you tried, nor would you want to.
Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: firstname.lastname@example.org.