My father needs to get a DNA test
Alma Gill | 3/9/2016, 5:47 p.m.
My 59-year-old father may have conceived a child with his 28-year-old girlfriend. I say “may” because his girlfriend sleeps around, and everybody in town knows it. My father is raising this child as his own. He asked my siblings and me to accept this baby and his girlfriend in our lives. He wants them invited to family parties, holidays, birthdays, cookouts, etc. I believe that before we welcome this conniving duo into our family, he needs to take a DNA test. How do I suggest this without getting him mad at my sister and me? My brother says it’s not our business.
My Father, Not My Business
Okay, pull up a seat. We need to have a semi-confidential conversation. I’ve read your e-mail, perused and pondered it and I’ve got to say, I remain planted at the same conclusion. I understand the circumstance don’t sit well with you, so scoot close. Lean in, are you ready? Watch my lips – listen to your brother. Paadow! This ain’t your red wagon to pull. I know that’s your daddy and I get the feeling you guys have a close relationship, which is fantastic and more than likely the reason why you’re so upset with the big, white 28-year-old elephant in the room. Yes, I agree, she’s too young for your daddy and yes, I agree, he’s too old to have a baby, but you know what – it is what it is and neither one of them is required to ask for your permission.
Frankly, this is not your state of affairs; you have no control here. Why in the world are you trying to make decisions for a 60-year-old man? Whether he’s living long or living wrong, 60 years is enough time for him to follow his own map of directions. Your father can and will decide with whom he wants to share his life. Here’s a news flash: he was making decisions about women and finding his way before you were born, LOL.
Stay in your lane, sweetie. He’s a grown man handling his business. If he is raising the baby as his own, then it’s his – period. Like my mama use to say, “If you feed ‘em long enough, they’ll favor you.” LOL!
He has accepted this responsibility, and so should you. If the tables were turned, would you want your father all up in your business? Probably not. Should you date only the guys he approves and accepts for you? Ahhh, I think not. Your daddy has enough love for all his children. This new baby is not taking your place. For the last time, Missy, mind your business.
Truth be told, we all have enough drama going on in our own backyards to keep us busy. Focus on the weeds in your own garden and let your father tend to his. Seems to me, what looks like an overcast cloud to you is bringing much joy and sunshine to your father. Motivate yourself on being a great big sister. Now wouldn’t that be the most decent move you could make out of this madness?
Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.